Senior boom begins among economic bust
15.11.10
As they've moved through the years like a demographic pig in a python, the 77 million Baby Boomers have redefined each stage of life, says Ken Dychtwald, an expert on generational change. And, he predicts, they will change the next stage, too.
But how will a generation defined by its youthfulness and optimism deal with old age and hard times?
Raised in affluent times and imbued with high expectations, the first Boomers now face the ironic prospect of longer yet crimped lives. Their homes and savings are worth less than a few years ago, and health care and energy cost more.
Although many will need (or want) to work past 65, there's less work to be had. Tobi Morgan, a real estate agent who was Utah's first Boomer, hung out her shingle in South Florida just before the housing market crashed; Ann Fry, born Jan. 1, 1946, in Miami, saw the recession dry up her career coaching practice; Mary Pfeiffer, a Dayton, Ohio, first Boomer, worries about Medicare's ability to cover treatment of her severe scoliosis.
Source: USA Today
My husband doesn't want me.?
Aug 19, 2008 by MommyMeme | Posted in Marriage & Divorce
My husband and I have been married just under a year and we have a beautiful 6 month old son (yes, I was pregnant when we got married and no, that isn't why we got married).
MY HUSBAND NEVER WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME.
For a long time he made various excuses, during the pregnancy he sometimes said it scared him that he could hurt the baby (I assured him that wasn't possible), sometimes he's claimed to be sick or tired or something similar. Recently I found an old order form for Viagra and he admitted to having ED as a side effect of a medication he's on (paxil) and says that this is why he avoids having sex with me.
But I don't understand. Every 2 or 3 weeks or so when he can tell I'm getting REALLY upset about it, he'll have sex with me. Yes, it seems to take a bit to get him "ready," but he does, so is it really ED? He says he doesn't want to buy the Viagra because it's too expensive, but we waste PLENTY of money on other things, and I've bought him OTC herbal supplements he never ever even attempts to take.
I'm beginning to be more and more convinced that he just doesn't want me and it's killing my self-esteem and our relationship. I often end up sleeping on the couch because the rejection of lying next to a man who can't bear to make love to me is too painful.
During the day he'll often tell me that I'm sexy and grab my butt or cop a feel, or even say he wants me, but only when the timing is such that there is no way he could be expected to follow through. Our son sleeps through the night (7:30pm-6:am) so we have ample alone time, and not to sound conceited, but I am 24 and pretty attractive, and my body is pretty much back to normal after giving birth.
Hubby is 32 and somewhat overweight, which I know may affect his libido, but I have a hard time comprehending why he wouldn't at least be willing to take something. It seems he doesn't even want to want me.
We see our pastor for marriage counseling every few weeks, just for the basic stress and advice of being a newly-wed couple with a new baby, but I know he's far too uncomfortable to ever discuss this issue.
I don't know how much more I can take. I literally lose so much sleep over this. I feel like I'm slowly dying inside. This is making me hate myself and him. It may sound silly that something like this would matter so much, but truly it is eating away at me.
At this point even on the rare occasion that we are intimate it just makes me miserable and I want to cry at seeing how much effort it takes him to force himself to "get it done" like some distasteful chore he's been putting off for as long as possible.
I can't take this much longer. I need help.
Encouragement and understanding works well. Give him time and always speak your mind to him but avoid being tactless.
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Wenzu's princess | Aug 19, 2008
Play nice, children | Aug 19, 2008
My wisdom | Aug 19, 2008
Meggie | Aug 19, 2008
daffy06 | Aug 19, 2008
tough_cool | Aug 19, 2008
Two things pop into mind:
-the baby, do you allow him to help the baby or do you act as if you are the only one who can properly take care of the baby. Because this mommy/baby-front tends to push many fathers away.
-your hubby's body, could be that he suddenly feels very self counscious about himself or he's just gotten lazy (I had that too). Try to get him into running. Get his condition up and his weight down.
And try some lovely lingerie an perfume. Maybe he sees you too much as a mommy than as his sexy wife. The baby also sleeps during daytime, right? Get organised about your grooming: hair, nails, clothes, you can always add a bit of glamour to your looks. Make the time for it. Do not spend all your time slaving away after the baby. Take one hour for yourself.
Baba | Aug 19, 2008
Do things together as much as possible. Take your family for walks. Stop hyper-focusing on his inadequacies and "helping" him with them. Focus instead on living life and fulfilling mutual goals ... companionship. The other stuff will fall into place. You'll both experience improved health and sleep better at night, if you're more physically active during the day. Find some common interests outside the house.
As his health improves and you keep the relationship on a positive track, he'll likely be more responsive.
AnswerGuy | Aug 19, 2008
Max 77 | Aug 19, 2008
Ashley M | Aug 19, 2008
first of all dont feel rejected or anything ...if you knw u r attractive then u shdlnt be at all.
second think talk to ur husband about the way you feel these days...
go to a doctor to get some tests done on ur husband to make sure tht what he says is the truth or there is something else he is hidding from you...and also it will help him to get the right prescription and you will know how much time it will take to recover and then you can wait for that night,...
if the above mentioned is not the problem but still meanwhile...u can try to seduce him sometimes...try something ero*t*c...like wearing a lingerine..rubbing his body and then his c**k...and u can use loads of other ideas...
and give time to urself....get ur nails done...change ur hairstyle and colour too.. try to look a bit changed and glamourous as well as sexy...
cld be the reason he is loosing a bit interest in you...it happens often..nt too worry dear...make him jealous....i mean a lot...
Get his medication sorted in front of u...so u knw whts the truth...
and everything will be okay.....:-)
hope this helps..
killerheart | Aug 19, 2008
This is too early.
I know how frustrating this can be too you but have you ever thought how much more it is stressful on your husband knowing that you are getting lonely in bed because he cannot perform. And that probably, he is more unable to now because he is so pressured with you leaving him in bed and sleeping on the couch.
In marriage, to be reciprocated, you have to be more receptive of your partner also. Your needs may not always be met in the most possible way that you want it.
If he can't perform. try to initiate. Provoke him in bed. Explore other means you have never done to tease. And please, don't deal too much on his medication. You are putting more pressure on him when you give him all these kind of supplements.
You said you have a very nice body and he is a little overweight. This too may add on his insecurity.
People here will tell you that your husband is selfish for not giving in to your needs but then, your marriage will not last long if all you can measure him up to is his ability to SEX you up.
LIA | Aug 19, 2008
dudleydo | Aug 19, 2008
But the funny thing is this now my wife run to sleep to the couch cuz every time I have my cock hard I tell her before u were crying cuz my thing did get hard and now U cry cuz is always hard, but my sex life is better now great I am using this gel call Androgel
If you husband feel this syntoms
1-Feel sleepy after dinner
2-Always boring Dont want to go out
3-He's always tire
4-penis dont get really hard like before
He needs see the phisi and dont think he is cheating on you because that was my wife thinking and to be honest i never did but never know keep eye too Ok
But if You need help I can take care of that If your husband cant do It
now I feel more strong LOL just joking
ps Also I am lil Overweight and thats problem too he really need to loose that and this gel help burn fat but really tell him too see the doctor ok hope your sex life get better ok or call me I will make you feel what u dont feel for while lol here is website if u want to check that
ljose1782 | Aug 19, 2008
Skittle | Aug 19, 2008
You are reacting to this all wrong. This has nothing to do with you in that he would be having this problem (under the same circumstances) with any woman he had married. I'd give him a big pat on the back for at least making an effort for you. Many if not most men would simply give up because sex is stressful and unpleasant.
I think what he needs to do is get off the Paxil and on to some other kind of antidepressant.
Wellbutrin works very well on depression and has no sexual side effects. Actually it can act as a mild sexual stimulant AND many of those taking it lose weight in the first few months, sometimes up to 15 lbs.
It doesn't work for everyone and he shouldn't just stop his Paxil just slowly drop the dose while adding Wellbutrin. If, when his system has been rebalnaced with Wellbutrin as the primary medication, he finds that the Wellbutrin alone is not totally effective in dealing with the depression, he could add a little Paxil starting at the lowest dose while at the same time continuing on the Wellbutrin. This is called "combination therapy" and if often used when the patient does not do well on Wellbutrin alone. But it will make the sexual side effects of the Paxil better.
But he should, if possible try to get off the Paxil completely.
Jojo | Aug 19, 2008
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