Friday, November 26, 2010

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Im 48. He is 62. Married 20 yr. Sex 1 time in year. He got cheap gift for coworker on our vacation. Cheating?


Aug 28, 2009 by Renie61 | Posted in Marriage & Divorce


We have a wonderful life. Nice home. Great son. Good jobs. In the last year he has not initiated sex at all. I initiated it on our anniversary in 2008. Recently I initiated it again. It have been well over a year. Sex was okay. I initiated the next morning and he could not be bothered. Said he cannot keep an erection. I find that to be odd. He is healthy. I have encouraged him to see doc and get viagra or check medical condition. He just shrugs me off. While we were on vacation, he purchased a shot glass for a young woman that works in a business associated with his. I was shocked. It was a cheap gift but it struck me as out of character. He said he was buying it for her. That she collects them. A few days later I asked her name. He blurted it out. I looked her up and she is about 35 years old. I think it is rather odd that he was thinking of her and shopping for her in a gift shop while vacation with her family. I think it is odd that he knows what she collects (even if it is a cheap shot glass) since she works in an office and just comes to the front desk. He knows what she collects?? I have looked at phone records and don't find anything odd. He always has cash on him and travels from shop to shop freely during the day. No way to track that. He says she controls the paperwork in this store and he was just being nice. Of course, I am thinking she sees him writing checks for 80K to 100,000 and she thinks he is a good catch. Am I jumping to conclusions? Also, for the last year he often drinks 3 to 4 vodkas at night and goes to bed at 9:30. He kept accusing me of snoring until I finally started sleeping in the guest room to keep from bothering him. Am I blind? We have a long and great relationship otherwise.
I made a typo... we were on vacation with our family - not her family. I have no idea who she is.
It was just so out of character and over the years our relationship has gotten "comfortable" but stale. The lack of attention makes me sad and lonely at times.
:-(




Highly unlikely that he is cheating. It was just a gift for a coworker. don't over think this. He just is not interested anymore... the alcohol, fatique, stress, age, all contribute. He should see an MD but probably won't.


| Aug 28, 2009




That's nowhere near cheating.
Cracker Jack | Aug 28, 2009





My friends parents are 18 years apart.
Marissa :) | Aug 28, 2009





One of my reletives never had sex once (Married for 20 years also)
Never bought presents...

It depends on the guy/girl
Hector | Aug 28, 2009





maybe he is or maybe he is just nice...
cherish c | Aug 28, 2009





Well... the couple of times I traveled I usually buy shot glasses for a couple of co-workers in my company. This usually comes as a request from them as they want something with the name of that place.

From what I've read I don't think you should over-think this gift.
Mr. Zed | Aug 28, 2009





You're totally jumping to conclusions. His disinterest in sex and inability to maintain an erection is directly related to those 3-4 drinks he has every night.

Alcohol use impairs libido.
sheloves_dablues | Aug 28, 2009





He probably has some old man's impossible fantasy - and there may be some flirtation going on.
Keep your eye on him!
You would have been better off marrying someone closer to your age!
IslandArtiste | Aug 28, 2009





It's a stupid little trinket gift for a chatty Cathy back at the office. Nothing more.

If he is writing checks for $80k to $100K and wanted to bed her, he would get her something nicer than a cheap little shot glass.
Tricia G | Aug 28, 2009





He could be-- you never know these days.. And sleeping in the guestroom? I've heard others use "snoring" as an excuse.. If I drink at night, I'm OUT for the night.
Kat365 | Aug 29, 2009




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